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Q - Z of Queer Weddings | Can l ask my celebrant to wear something specific?

By Equally Wed - Posted on Monday, April 08, 2019

Question: Can l ask my celebrant to wear something specific? Or not to wear something specific? 

We posed this month's Q-Z of Queer Weddings question to Sydney celebrant Lillian Lyon from our directory. 



If my couples are happy, then I’m happy, but that’s just me. 
Many couples have already checked out images of their celebrant on the internet and happy with what they’ve seen, or they may like the celebrant’s smile, but not sure how open they are to wear a specific clothing request. 

The overall aesthetic of a wedding ranks high in priority when couples begin to plan their wedding. How will it look and feel? It’s only natural for a couple to have a say in what their celebrant, should or shouldn’t wear.

A couple may ask themselves, does their celebrant:

• echo the overall theme of the wedding,
• contradict how the couple would like to express their own personal style,
• represent their level of modesty or flamboyance. 

From the very start I like to ask my couples about colours, dress code, and theme, if there is one. Visualising the wedding helps to be on track when discussing the ceremony.

Here are some scenarios to consider (and gasp at) based on real situations at my weddings, or heard about from other celebrants, wedding vendors, and guests! I’ve been asked to wear various colours so as to fit in with colour schemes. Never a problem for me. 


Couple Erica & Erin who are also Wedding Photographers.
Lillian Lyon Celebrant // Sydney, NSW // James Day Photography

In the year leading to Marriage Equality and during it’s first year the rainbow theme was strong, so I happily wore many outfits with rainbows incorporated. During my 14 years as a celebrant I’ve been asked to go barefoot, wear head to toe sequins, fancy dress and even go nude, however I opted for a sarong which the couple agreed to. For some reason people think I’m Hawaiian, so I’ve worn a few leis in my time.

I heard about a celebrant who read from her hologram folder outside on a sunny day and the photographer budget didn’t allow for intricate photoshopping, so the reflection ruined the photos. Once a celebrant wore a very low plunging neckline so their cleavage was front and centre during the couple’s vows.

Another celebrant could barely walk in their high heels, so they didn’t move from their spot not even to greet the couple at the entrance.
I encourage all marrying couples to ask their celebrants what they are going to wear and be honest about what they’d like for their special day.



Lillian Lyon
Celebrant
Sydney, Australia
Lillian Lyon Sydney Celebrant
 

Same Sex Wedding Directory - Australia & NZ